THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SPAM AND THE HUMAN REPRODUCTIVE PROCESS
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SPAM AND THE HUMAN REPRODUCTIVE PROCESS
"They are released in the million, and only one makes it.
What am I talking about? It's Spam STUPID! :-)
Yup...i am definitely sick and tired of all that spam mails hitting my mail box. Spam is sent out in the millions and though I dont have the exact figures on whether they are profitable and how many exactly click i.e whether people buy what spam advertises, I would compare Spam with
our human reproductive process. The similarity or analogy is too obvious to ignore. Spam is released too in the millions into the womb of the World Wide Web (the feminine side of the Internet) and like our fertilization process, one in a million hits the egg. We are like the waiting eggs bombarded day in and day out by millions of Spam and maybe one in a million does make a connection.
Sifting through the mail in my Inbox is like rummaging through a garbage bin. The following are some of the Subject Lines that hit me everyday, you will find my frustrations vented in the brackets...maybe what I would have said if these mails were sales people:
- Our last pick went up over 300% - or money in the bank at 2%
(hello, what the hell are you talking about!!?)
- Hit Her G Spot Harder
(Thank you very much...the last thing on my mind is that and we are quite happy hitting each other the way we are doing right now)
- Can You Payoff Your Home in Three to Five Yrs
(I live in Dubai you moron! We dont own homes here. Why dont you check where you send your rotten spam to!!!)
- Powerful weightloss now available where you are.
(Yawn! I dont need any weight loss program mister....your mails do it for me you know .)
- shee wiiill saaaay it's too haaaard
(Oh my! Am I impressed. Now why dont you just...............;-)
- \N, eBay is a Goldmine!
(Yeah..Yeah....and my house is Fort Knox...buzz off you bummer!)
- VERY URGENT ( MR. JOHNSON KING )
(Dear Mr. Johnson King.....you are the 5601st mail that I have received seemingly from Africa and that too from Princes, diplomats, officers, widows, sons and daughters of Presidents and Ambassadors with seemingly gazillions of dollars waiting to be transferred Out of Africa. If there was so much money in Africa waiting to be transferred to the rest of the world then seeing the amount of emails that you guys send, anyone and everyone with an email address would have been a millionaire by now.)
- SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: dirty, wild, nasty fun
(Yeah Baby....now if I was only 15 years old....)
- Finally, a smart sp@m control solution you can trust tuna
(This takes the cake...O God..the Irony of it all...hahahahaha...eeeeeee...oooooo....
POSTSCRIPT
This is Mikrosmin, Cosmician's assistant signing off and finishing his last piece of writing. Obviously the last spam mail that Cosmician had received was too much to bear and well...let's just say that he won't be writing for a while.
"They are released in the million, and only one makes it.
What am I talking about? It's Spam STUPID! :-)
Yup...i am definitely sick and tired of all that spam mails hitting my mail box. Spam is sent out in the millions and though I dont have the exact figures on whether they are profitable and how many exactly click i.e whether people buy what spam advertises, I would compare Spam with
our human reproductive process. The similarity or analogy is too obvious to ignore. Spam is released too in the millions into the womb of the World Wide Web (the feminine side of the Internet) and like our fertilization process, one in a million hits the egg. We are like the waiting eggs bombarded day in and day out by millions of Spam and maybe one in a million does make a connection.
Sifting through the mail in my Inbox is like rummaging through a garbage bin. The following are some of the Subject Lines that hit me everyday, you will find my frustrations vented in the brackets...maybe what I would have said if these mails were sales people:
- Our last pick went up over 300% - or money in the bank at 2%
(hello, what the hell are you talking about!!?)
- Hit Her G Spot Harder
(Thank you very much...the last thing on my mind is that and we are quite happy hitting each other the way we are doing right now)
- Can You Payoff Your Home in Three to Five Yrs
(I live in Dubai you moron! We dont own homes here. Why dont you check where you send your rotten spam to!!!)
- Powerful weightloss now available where you are.
(Yawn! I dont need any weight loss program mister....your mails do it for me you know .)
- shee wiiill saaaay it's too haaaard
(Oh my! Am I impressed. Now why dont you just...............;-)
- \N, eBay is a Goldmine!
(Yeah..Yeah....and my house is Fort Knox...buzz off you bummer!)
- VERY URGENT ( MR. JOHNSON KING )
(Dear Mr. Johnson King.....you are the 5601st mail that I have received seemingly from Africa and that too from Princes, diplomats, officers, widows, sons and daughters of Presidents and Ambassadors with seemingly gazillions of dollars waiting to be transferred Out of Africa. If there was so much money in Africa waiting to be transferred to the rest of the world then seeing the amount of emails that you guys send, anyone and everyone with an email address would have been a millionaire by now.)
- SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: dirty, wild, nasty fun
(Yeah Baby....now if I was only 15 years old....)
- Finally, a smart sp@m control solution you can trust tuna
(This takes the cake...O God..the Irony of it all...hahahahaha...eeeeeee...oooooo....
POSTSCRIPT
This is Mikrosmin, Cosmician's assistant signing off and finishing his last piece of writing. Obviously the last spam mail that Cosmician had received was too much to bear and well...let's just say that he won't be writing for a while.
posted by Cosmician @ 11:47 AM
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